Dumb Ways to Climb Review!
“Get ready for a game that’ll make you question all your life choices in Dumb Ways to Climb! This is the incredibly unimpressive creation that miraculously appeared in just one week! Watch in awe as our brilliant Bean aimlessly climbs on random stuff, reaching for the stars… well, kind of.
In this mind-blowing adventure, you’ll guide the Bean as it mindlessly drags itself across a jumble of objects. Is it a ladder? Is it a pogo stick? Who knows! The suspense is unbearable! No need for exciting challenges or brain-teasing puzzles here. Just mind-numbing climbing action that will leave you wondering how this game even made it past the brainstorming stage.
But wait, there’s more! Feast your eyes on our visually “unique” graphics. Prepare to be underwhelmed by backgrounds and assets that were seemingly picked out of a hat. It’s an artistic masterpiece… if your definition of a masterpiece is random mishmash.”
iOS Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dumb-ways-to-climb/id6450909644
Android Link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.com.metrotrains.onlyup&hl=en_US
Company: Metro Trains Melbourne
Genre: Action
Rated: 9+
Gameplay
If you’ve been here a while, you’ll know that we’ve reviewed a lot of the Dumb Ways series, with most of them being pretty similar to the last. However, Dumb Ways to Climb was completely different.
In this game, you’re put in what looks like an abandoned city and your job is to climb and climb and climb as high as you can. Unlike the other games in the series, there’s no way to die. I tried falling from the highest point I could get to and I landed on my feet. This was totally out of character from this series but according to their app store description, it was on purpose.
Graphics
The graphics were horrendous, but again, that’s the whole point. The developer describes them as “random mishmash” which is exactly what they are. Weirdly enough, I loved the parallels between the dull background and the brightly colored bean we all know and love from the mobile game series.
Music & Sounds
If you’ve played these games before, you’ll probably know the theme tune. The background music is the same theme tune we all know, it’s just slower. I’m not sure why they did this but I’m glad they did this as the sound of footsteps would’ve made the gameplay a lot creepier.
Controls
The controls were quite difficult to use; even after playing the game for a while, I still couldn’t get used to them. There’s a joystick on the left-hand side of the screen that allows you to move around but the bean character isn’t very responsive so I almost fell down a number of times.
There’s also a jump and run button. I jumped quite a lot but didn’t touch the run button as I found that the bean moved fast enough on its own.
In-app Purchases
Metro Trains Melbourne mentions in their app description “Just mind-numbing climbing action that will leave you wondering how this game even made it past the brainstorming stage.” which makes sense as to why they didn’t add in any in-app purchases.
The Verdict
Usually, if a game is this bad I would rate it quite poorly but as it was Metro Train Melbourne’s intention, it can get an extra rating. However, I’m not quite sure why this was created, even if it was satire, as the other games in the series are great. There were no in-app purchases so they’re only making money from downloads alone, the controls were difficult to the point of wanting to just delete the whole game and the graphics were an eye sore. In my opinion, it feels as if this game was made to be deleted which is an odd concept and not something I’ve ever come across since I started reviewing mobile games.
For that reason, I can’t see myself keeping this game on my phone for any longer than I need to for this review. It’s disappointing because I love the Dumb Ways series.
If you decide to download Dumb Ways to Climb, let us know what you think and if you agree with what we said. Happy gaming and stay casual!
Dumb Ways to Climb Overall Rating: 3/5
iOS Link: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dumb-ways-to-climb/id6450909644
Android Link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.com.metrotrains.onlyup&hl=en_US
Company: Metro Trains Melbourne
Genre: Action
Rated: 9+
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